The Beauty of Divine Timing

Nobody likes a Monday. Monday is the end of what should be the relaxation of the weekend and brings with it the brunt of the new week. For me, Monday brings the “joy” of my in-person accounting class at The University of West Georgia. For 2 hours and 45 minutes, the class barrels on and I honestly can’t wait for it to be over. Last Monday, our professor mentioned to the class that some students were concerned about a possible storm front that would be passing through and she would try to dismiss class early.

She kept her word and the class was heading home 45 minutes early. It takes me about 50 minutes to get home and I was hungry, so I decided to stop at CVS to get a drink and a snack before heading home. My drive home was uneventful. I pulled into my subdivision and was almost home when I saw a male walking in the street, with a grey and orange jacket. This was unusual because you rarely see anyone walking in my neighborhood that late and it was way too hot to be walking with that fleece jacket.

As I approached the stop sign that he was walking towards, he turned and looked at me. I immediately recognized him. He’s a teen that lives in the neighborhood. Though I haven’t had many interactions with him, I knew that he had a developmental disability, which I would later find out was Autism. I came to a complete stop at the stop sign. I noticed that there was a car parked with its lights on, at the gate of the clubhouse across the street. I was under the impression that the young man was heading towards the car. After being stopped for a few seconds to give him the opportunity to cross, he waved me to go. As I took my foot off the brake and my wheels started to roll, he stepped in front of my car. I immediately hit the brake again and the mom in me kind of took over at the point. I can’t be sure but I think I told him to “get over here,” meaning over to my driver’s window. He walked over and rested his arms on the window. I asked him what he was doing out here this late to which he replied, that he didn’t want to live anymore and he wanted me to just run him over.

When you think about emergency situations, we always think we will know how to react or know what to do or that we will have no idea of what to do and maybe you’ll do nothing. As a flight attendant, I have spent the last 15 years of my life doing drills and being trained for emergencies. I have spent the last 7 years of my life being a mother and we all know that motherhood requires you to be a skilled negotiator. These 2 skills would work in my favor on this night.

I asked him his name. He told me. For the purpose of this blog, I will call him Sam, to protect his privacy. I said Sam, what would this world do without you? We need you. He went on to say, that he just didn’t want to continue to live in this Covid world, it was too much. I could relate. It is too much but no one should want to end their life because of it. Sam was distracted by a car behind me, so I put on my hazards, so they would go around me and I could continue to talk to him. I asked if his Mom, knew he was out here and if I could call her, he screamed no! Then he mumbled that he just wanted to die. I told him I wasn’t going to let that happen and I was here to help him. I then asked him if I could call his brother and again, he screamed no. I said ok, so what shall we do? I am not going to leave you out here alone, so if you’re walking, I’m going to ride beside you, unless I can just take you home. Again it was no. He started walking away and yelled to me to “just go.”

I yelled back that I was coming too. Can’t shake me that easily. I went through the stop sign and made a U-turn. It was at that moment that I made the decision to call 911. As I turned around to follow him, I described the situation to the dispatcher and told her our location. She asked if he had any weapons, to which I replied that I didn’t think so but in all actuality, I didn’t know. I pulled up on him again and once again, he stopped to talk with me. I asked him where he was headed and he said he didn’t know. I asked once more if I can take him home and it was still no. The dispatcher then asked me what his address was and honestly, I didn’t know. I couldn’t even remember where he lives because my subdivision is so large. I casually asked him his address and surprisingly he told me. Another car pulled up behind me and he left my car to go to that one. I figured that may be his family so I got out. It turns out that it wasn’t. The lady in the vehicle asked if he was ok and I told her that I was trying to get him home. She said ok and quickly took off.

This is the reaction of most. Most people don’t want to stop and help, some are scared. I knew in my heart that this young man had no business out at this time of night, especially in his condition and particularly because this is someone’s child. People who I have met before and have had conversations with. I can only hope that someone would be willing to stop and help my son if he needed it. I didn’t want to abandon him and have him walk into the woods or the lake or go missing.

We were about 20 minutes in, I still had the 911 dispatcher on the line and he still would not let me help in any capacity, so I took a different approach. I became firm with my tone and my intent. I ‘Mom’ed” up. Sam saw my phone was lit up and asked who I was talking to, he seemed nervous that someone was on my line. I told him that it was my husband and he was trying to help me get him home. I got back in my car and put the ball in his court. I said, ” look Sam, it’s been a long night and I’m tired and want to go to bed. What are we doing here? I know you just want to go home. I can call your Mom for you.” Finally, he agreed. I felt relieved.

That night I learned that you can’t make another call when on the line with 911, so the dispatcher called. Unfortunately, his Mom didn’t answer. I kept pushing. I asked Sam one more time if I could take him home and he agreed! I don’t know what making a touchdown feels like but I definitely wanted to do an end-zone dance. My goal was just to get him to his family. He got in the back seat of my car because there was so much stuff on the front seat. When he got in, the dispatcher said, that she would stay on the line with me. He saw 911 on my car screen and started rocking back and forth, screaming, “no cops!” I told him that the dispatcher was my sister, she introduced herself as Emily. I said see, she’s Emily, I’m Ebony, two E’s equals sisters and I locked the doors and took off.

Operation Get Sam home was in full effect. As I was headed to his house, we passed a cop car with its searchlights on and he became anxious again. I told him not to worry, we were headed home. He started yelling, “no cops” again. I turned down his street and thankfully he is the first house on the block. Only my front 2 tires made it onto his driveway before my car was surrounded by at least 5 cop cars. Sam jumped out and started screaming, “no cops, no cops!”

It was at this moment, that I felt panic like I have never felt in my entire life. We know how it goes with Black males and the police. Things can escalate quickly. Especially because they don’t know his background or his disability and his behavior could be deemed as aggressive. I jumped out of my car and stood in front of him, I turned to Sam and said it’s ok. These cops want to talk to me, they are not here for you. I turned to 6 officers standing in my face, with my hand out trying to create some kind of distance between us and them.  I said he has a disability, please allow me to get his parents. The funny thing is the cops were looking at me strangely, like why was I in such a frenzy. One officer said, “please get them.” I took off and Usain Bolt’ed to his door. I began banging wildly. Sam’s brother answered the door and I told him I had his brother out here with the police and I needed them down here ASAP. I then ran back to Sam. The officers were chillin’ honestly. No weapons drawn, or hands on them, while Sam continued to yell. They were trying to just converse with him when his father and brother came outside. His brother was able to get him in the house and his father stuck around to chat with the officers. I really didn’t have a choice but to stick around because if you remember, my car was surrounded as if I had robbed a bank.

His father told the officers that Sam is Autistic and has been troubled by many of the current events that have been taking place in the world. They had no idea he had even left the home. The officers took some information from him in the event something like this happens again, they can have some background information on him.

When the officers left, I chatted with his Dad and told him what Sam was saying about wanting to die and asking me to run him over. He said that his son was really troubled by the recent death of Ed Asner. His Dad thanked me tremendously and I headed home. When I got home I had a full breakdown because my adrenaline decreased and the severity of the situation really took its toll on me. I just wanted to keep this 19 year old safe. I just wanted to get him home. It’s unfortunate that when you see the police there is an underlying fear of the unexpected and because I was the one who called them, I didn’t want things to go left. These officers demonstrated how policing should go. They listened and assessed before reacting. They were also emphatic and compassionate towards the situation. Kudos to those officers who also commended me for getting Sam home.

Divine timing was the reason that I came across Sam. I was meant to help him that night because other neighbors would have likely passed him by or could have potentially viewed him as a threat. All things aligned for Sam and me that night and in the end, I am thankful that I understood the assignment.