Welcome Aboard! What Flight Attendants Want you to Know About Flying During a Pandemic

Typically air travel in the summertime undoubtedly means that flights are full of people ready for vacation and family visits. Flight attendants brace themselves for first time flyers, irrational passenger requests, excessive baggage and scores of, “is the flight full?” inquiries. If you remember, “is the flight full?” ranked #1 on my list of, 10 Things Passengers Say and Do, That are Just Doggone Annoying to Flight Attendants.

Wear a Mask…

You know when you wouldn’t have to wear a mask to travel? In your car, on your private jet, in an RV. If you chose these modes of transportation, then you could blow all of your air droplets around an entire vehicle and could even make little donut holes, with the vapor from the air conditioning, if you so choose. Your personal transport, your rules but on a commercial airplane, you have to mask up. Yes, we know they are hot and stuffy and particularly for an entire plane ride, however, most airlines have now required masks to fly. That means that you actually have to wear it,  your pocket doesn’t benefit from the mask, neither does your luggage, so be sure it’s on your face. Oh and by your face, we mean, actually covering your nose and mouth and not making a hammock for your chin.  Flight attendants are listening extra hard to understand what you’re saying with this new barrier, so please don’t remove your mask  and then stand nose to nose when trying to talk or ask a question or remove it to cough. Keep your you, with you, by keeping your mask on during the flight. If you have a medical condition that prevents you from wearing a mask, we totally get it, you can make that point known to the airline and to the flight attendants but let’s not try to drive that point home with combative antics and tomfoolery, which leads me to my next point.

Flight attendants are onto your fake exemption card…

I think the craze of buying fake service dog and emotional support vests from ebay, has died down. I can’t tell you the amount of “fun” I had with killer Cujo’s, cutely cloaked in trained service dog apparel, boarding aircrafts and later wreaking havoc on flights because they are not trained and the owner was just looking for a free ride for their animal. The new wave of mischief amongst passengers comes in the form of a face mask exemption card, which is supposed to give someone an exemption from any ordinance, requiring face mask usage in public. I don’t know whose Cricut machine created the first one but The U.S. Justice Department has made it known that these cards are unofficial and is not a directive of it’s agency. Again, if you have a condition that prevents mask use, just state the facts, I’m sure the airline will work to accommodate you, as they would with any other medical condition.

Social distancing on an airplane, laughs in flight attendant…

While, some airlines are still doing their best to maintain social distancing by not selling middle seats, be prepared for the close quarters that airplane travel affords you. There will likely still be someone in front of, behind and beside you. Airplane social distancing is not the equivalent of every other row in Madison Square Garden, there will be closeness, which is why wearing the mask is important. You can help with social distancing by not jumping up when the plane lands and reaches the gate, to only stare at that neck of the person in front of you. Allow time for those, in the rows before you, to gather their items and deplane, so you can safely do so as well.

What exactly is happening with those disposable gloves?…

Kudos to the passengers who bring their Lysol wipes, disinfect their areas, don their mask, use hand sanitizer and wear their gloves. You my friend, are a smart pandemic traveler. However, flight attendants are noticing that some people wearing disposable gloves on aircrafts, may be doing more harm then good. First of all, I could be wrong but I don’t recall the CDC  ever, not ever, putting out information about wearing dish gloves as a form of personal protective equipment but people are still boarding with their elbow length rubber gloves. I mean, whatever floats your boat, just not sure how they’re helpful or functional. Some of  the people who are wearing the recommended nitrile gloves are boarding with them, touching the bins, stowing their bags, disinfecting their seats, then eating with the same gloves. Yikes! My all time favorite gloves funniness, are those that go to the lavatory, with the gloves on and then wash the gloves as one would wash their hands after using the bathroom. They exit drying the gloves with paper towels. Ok, so I’m no health expert, but I can almost bet that the safer thing to do, is to ditch the gloves, especially the dish gloves and maintain good hand washing hygiene.

Service May be limited, BYOB…

In this case, the last B in BYOB stands for breakfast, brunch, BBQ, burrito, etc… Basically bring your own food if you’re super famished. The B also stands for beverage but not the alcoholic kind, since you’re not able to consume your own alcohol onboard an aircraft. Service during the pandemic can be limited. Some airlines have reduced their snack, meal and beverage selections, in an effort to reduce the time that flight attendants are in the aisle. So please, if it is announced that it is water service only or there is a specific selection of amenities, don’t ask for other things that are likely unavailable and do bring those items that are specific to your dietary restrictions. You’d be hard pressed to find any gluten free, no wheat, sugarless or keto friendly selections before the pandemic, so please don’t expect them now.

All airlines and it’s employees are gladly welcoming passengers back to the friendly skies. While this article is lighthearted and written in a satirical nature, all we want for our customers, is to have a comfortable and safe, flying experience. As always, we appreciate your business! Happy travels friends!