Cohesive Parenting with Your Spouse: 3 Tips to Make it Work

We are all different as individuals, so it’s no surprise that raising children with your spouse may cause some conflict due to different parenting styles, upbringing, values and priorities.  My husband and I often want the same goals for our son but the road to get there oftentimes will require a road map, intense conversations and additional questions. I’ve found that these tips have helped us as a couple, to raise a well rounded child.

Don’t Dispute What your Spouse Says in Front of the Child

There are times that I don’t agree with the way in which my husband wants to do things, especially as it pertains to learning. He tends to be somewhat strict and for me, that would actually be ok if our son was older. However, he is only 4 years old and although we both want him to learn things that are appropriate for his age and his upcoming year in Pre-K, we have different ideas on how to successfully get him to learn. My son has a fun personality like me, so I try to make everything that has to do with learning, an enjoyable experience for him, by making songs and playing games. My husband’s approach is a bit more stern and straightforward. Regardless of how I feel about how he should learn though, I would never try to diminish my husband’s approach in front of my son. Instead, I choose to discuss it with him when we’re alone and offer constructive criticism and he does the same if he feels there’s a better way for me to handle a situation as well.

Abide by the Course of Action Discussed

Hopefully,  parents can come to a mutual decision and solid course of action as it pertains to their children.  However, once you are in agreement as to the best way to handle things, STICK TO IT! It may not be the way in which you would handle it but if you have come up with a cohesive plan don’t go off course if your spouse is not present. I have found this to be particularly important because both my husband and I travel for our jobs. Therefore, even when he’s not present, I still uphold those decisions that we make together.

Act in the Best Interest of the Little People

Gosh, it’s so difficult sometimes to take the high road and be the bigger person. Especially as it pertains to your children. However, it can be a necessary evil for all parties involved. Even if you don’t always agree with your spouse and how they handle different topics such as the education, discipline and structure for your kids, as long as it benefits their well being and productiveness choose to take a back seat and see where the wind blows you.  Now please understand, I am fully aware that all family dynamics are not the same but I am speaking from a position where both parents are acting in the best interest of the child and you’re not turning a blind eye to detrimental or harmful behavior. I am a huge advocate of a safe, loving and cohesive home environment, that allows children to have a happy childhood and an opportunity to thrive.

The one thing that I know for sure is that I’m always going to be my child’s bigger supporter in whatever he chooses to embark on throughout his life. Part of that support will stem primarily from allowing him to benefit from the love, guidance and diversity that a two-parent household can provide. There are little gems of wisdom and know how that my husband can bring to the table that I would never be able to fully provide to him and vice versa. I’m hoping that if we continue this plan of cohesiveness, it will continue to work towards the betterment of our son.

What ideas do you have that would make parenting with your spouse easier?