10 Things Passengers say and do That are Just Doggone Annoying to Flight Attendants

Being a flight attendant has its share of ups and downs. While deemed to be a glamorous and fascinating career and most times it is, it’s often filled with long days, full flights and a myriad of personalities from the thousands of passengers we encounter each day. If you became a flight attendant and only did the job for one week, I guarantee that you will have heard or encountered the following statements, questions and scenarios, at least 1000 times. I’ve polled two separate flight attendant Facebook groups and here are the top 10 things that passengers say and do, that makes our sanity fly away.

     1. Is the flight full?       

Sorry guys, there is no particular order to this list but this one ranks #1.  It makes our skin crawl. I really can’t explain why but it does. Normally because we say good morning and we’re not met with a mutual greeting but instead, “are we full?” Some of us sassy stews like to reply, “yep, we are stuffed thanks to a great breakfast, thanks for asking.”  They usually don’t like that response.                                                                                                                              

     2. It Fit the Last Time.

 Right… But that huge oversized bag is not fitting this time so we’ll have to check it. But first we’ll secretly watch from the back galley, while you try to awkwardly ram it in the bin for a few moments before we tell you that.           

     3. What are we flying over?   

9 times out of 10, your flight attendants are not geographists. We have no idea. Besides that, we are most likely, too busy moving and grooving, serving drinks, snacks and meals to see the spec of Earth beneath us from our pancake sized porthole. My normal reply of, “looks like land to me!” doesn’t quite tickle their fancy.

        4. What time do we land? 

Flight attendants usually know two times during the day. The time we need to be at the airport and the time we get off and can leave the airport. Everything else is irrelevant.

     5. What are yoooou eating? We only got peanuts. 

(Said while hovering over our food during the 7 minutes and 24 seconds we have to shove nutrients down our throats.) I know it’s hard to believe but flight attendants are humans too. We need to eat and usually don’t have much time to do so. While we’d love to chat with you about our Italian delicacy (a cold pizza we brought 2 hours ago and are just now eating,) we’d really like to just get back to our meal. Can we eat please?

     6. I didn’t get a drink or a snack, you skipped me!   

I can’t be sure and I could be wrong but I am under the impression that your closed eyelids and the fact that your seat mates are happily sipping and snacking, means that you were asleep and therefore not “skipped.” My face the whole time…                                                                                                                                        

 7. Staring.   

Really guys. Where is your book or tablet or your “skip indicator” aka closed eyelids? I know we seem super interesting, while we stare off into space, to avoid the beam of your piercing eyeballs, with our five point harness on and our knees pressed tightly together in our dresses so row 1 doesn’t get the better end of our business but for crying out loud, it’s so uncomfortable and creepy to be on the jumpseat with 20 straight minutes of…

     8. It’s soooooo cold, can you warm it up? (Usually asked by someone wearing a tank top and tiny shorts.)                                                                                                                                           

Someone once told me, that if flight attendants are not cold whilst feverishly moving back and forth thru the cabin serving hundreds of passengers, that the temperature does not get changed. I can not confirm or deny these rumors (points pinky to pooched lips like Dr. Evil,) so just like when you visit a movie theater bring something cozy to bundle up Buttercup!                                                                                                                                   

     9. Using the lavatory during boarding.                                                                                                   

We’re not really clocking your bladder, when you gotta go, you gotta go but there are two reasons why flight attendants really can’t stand “bathroom boarders.” The first is because you then usually use the lav in the back, then want to immediately swim back upstream to get to your seat, subsequently messing up the boarding flow. Also because bathroom boarders do evil things in that lav after morning coffee and airport burritos and then flee back to their seats leaving us stuck with the satanic smell.  Now you know why, when you start that slow trek either upstream or downstream during boarding, to get to a lav, your flight attendant looks like…

     10. Touching us.

Please don’t touch us. Please don’t try to grab us as we walk by, to take your heaping pile of trash aka gum wrapper. Here’s why. First of all, I can’t really think of anyone that wants to be touched by hundreds of strangers all day, well I can actually but that’s another profession. Secondly, due to the fact that you’re seated and we are moving about the cabin, your hands always land on inappropriate places, then it’s awkward for everyone. Especially when I exclaim, “who touched my bum!” Then you’re all like…

So you know some of the things that make flight attendants tick but what I’d really like to know is,  do any of these things decribe you when you fly?